Quantified Self · Pub Edition

What's your 🍺 to 🍆 ratio?

Two of life's great daily metrics. One number that says everything. A leaderboard your therapist will never see.

Today the world has logged 🍺 1 pints and 🍆 1 wanks across 4 consenting adults.

Updated live. Yes, that's real data. No, we won't tell your mum.

How it works

👆

Pint? Tap 🍺. The other thing? Tap 🍆. Honesty is its own reward. Lying is also fine — we have no way of knowing.

📈

Heatmaps, streaks, day-of-week peaks. Discover that Thursdays were always a bit off and now you know why.

🏆

The global board is anonymous. The friends board is not. Choose your battles and your friend group accordingly.

Is this a joke?

Mostly. The site is real. The data is real. The dignity may not survive.

What's a "good" ratio?

That's between you, your liver, and the people you love. Statisticians decline to comment.

Can I cheat?

You can tap the button as many times as you like — up to 50 of each per day. Past that, the server thinks you're either lying or in serious trouble.

Will my employer find out?

Only if they're on your friends list. Choose wisely.

How do I delete my account?

Settings → "Delete my account". Your shame is permanent; your data isn't.

Takes 20 seconds to sign up. The reckoning lasts forever.